<...1...2...3...4...5...6...7> [Mike is dancing the Macarena as the Bots come into view.] Servo (to Crow): What's up with the Ranger? Crow (to Servo): I'm not sure, but I think he's giving Cecil Fielder the sign to steal second. Mike: This is the dance that's sweeping the country. Crow: St. Vitus? Mike: No, no.. the Macarena. Gypsy: Macaroni? Servo: Oh, that glorified disco-pop Chicken Dance. Crow: More like Macarenal. Gypsy: What's it about? Servo: Oh, about four minutes too long. Crow: It's about a young woman who cheats on her boyfriend with two of his friends. Servo: I take it back. It's a country song done disco-pop. Crow: But there's no hound dog dying and tears in my beer. Mike: C'mon, Gypsy, Crow, Tom... join in. It's fun! Servo: Well, we'd like to, Danny Terrio, except... my arms don't *work*. Gypsy (soulfully): I have no arms. Crow: I prefer to put my arms to better use... like washing my car in the rain, changing my new guitar string, mowing the lawn just the same as I did yesterday... Mike: Okay, okay, I get the picture, Terri. Cambot, cut the music. ['Macarena' shut off abruptly.] Bots (relieved): Ahhhhhhhh..... Mike: How about reading some letters? Gypsy: Nastygrams? Mike: No, fan letters. Here's one from trekland@icanect.net. Crow: I connect Annette? Gypsy: Trekland? Is that where Gene Roddenberry's home is? Crow (dramatically): Joe Stracynski! You just won the Hugo! Where are you going now? Servo: Trekland... NOT! Mike (sighs): Can I read this now? Crow: Go right ahead, Mike. Mike: Tom was actually on the right track. This comes from Jennifer Rosbury... Servo: Jennifer Rosbury? THE Jennifer Rosbury?? Wait one momemt. I'll be back! [Servo heads out of camera view.] Gypsy (singsong): Hi Jenny! Mike: No, no, Gypsy girl. It's Jennifer, not Jenny. Gypsy: Ooo...poopie. My boo-boo. Mike: She writes: "...I wondered how did you know I look good in a bathing suit NOT :) heheheheheh Sorry but had to say it. My husband and I even thought of making a fake CQ and sending it to you with me on the cover in a bathing suit (my face models body). " [Servo heads back in camera view with ComQ.] Servo (out of breath): I hope... she'll autograph... her cover... for me... Mike: Uh, sorry, Tom, but that's a fake cover. Servo: Wha?? (To Crow, angrily.) You said that was a personal Jenny cover to me! Crow: Yeah, Jenny Rosbury head, Jenny McCarthy body. Gypsy: That's 'Jennifer', Crow, remember. Mike: And we all know... All: DO NOT TOUCH JENNY! Crow: So, like, can we touch Jennifer Rosbury? Mike: Well, I wouldn't... see, Steven would get mad, and Jennifer is Chief of Security, and she knows a lot of Klingons... just *don't*.... anyways, she writes... "Its nice to be noticed. But Im not still sure wether to be flattered or offended..." Crow (with airs): To quote from the immortal Oscar Wilde, " There is only one thing worse that being talked about, and that is *not* being talked about." Servo: A _brilliant_ bon mot, old chap. Crow: Thank you... Mike: What my friends are saying, Jennifer, is that a lot of people get noticed... Lisa, Alan, Janis, Paul, Coyote, Janice, Sashi, Marian, Deborah, Alex, Little Guy, Hots, Rob,... Servo: We haven't heard from PeTA about the Dana Marshall wisecracks about alleged beastiality, so we must be doing okay... Gypsy: Is there anyone you _haven't_ mentioned? Mike: Hmmm... I think there are two new recruits in Region 21 we have to work in. Crow: In other words, everyone's a target. Mike: Right... and she continues: "...And BTW my ship after a bunch saw it a while back while at my house for gaming night want to make up buttons with " So who died and made you Jennifer Rosbury" what ya think...would they sell as a fundraiser?? hehehe anyway take care." ...and she sent us one. Put it up on stillstore, Cambot. [Button on stillstore.] Gypsy: Ooo. Very nice. Mike: So, Jennifer, on behalf of everyone on the Deep Space Station of Love, we thank you very much for the letter and your kind words, and the button, and keep reading... Servo: So, Mike, who *did* die and make you Jennifer Rosbury? Gypsy: Gene Roddenberry? Crow: Roddenberry?!? Gypsy: Isn't he buried at Trekland with Jenny McCarthy? Mike: Gypsy... (sighs, holds button up to camera) what do *you* think, Sirs? [Macarena is being played at high speed. The Mads are frantically trying to keep up.] Background: Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena [Mads are hopelessly behind the steps....] Background: Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena [Mads are spinning around and slapping themselves.] Background: Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena [Mads are slapping each other a la Three Stooges.] Background: Heeeeeeeey Macarena! [Mads fall down.] Background: (Hi-ya!) [Click.] [Credits.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- Mystery Starfleet Theatre 3000 is based on the show Mystery Science Theater 3000. Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1996 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for satirical purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. For more MSFT3K postings: http://www.fred.net/tomr.